Skip to content

“We don’t have cabbage in Canada”

October 8, 2011

Today we’re going to talk about new friends. I’m going to get a little personal here and I’m going to try my very best not to sound hopelessly vain and self obsessed. Still, if you just want silly pictures, scroll down one post.

As I’ve mentioned on this blog, I’m a bit of an introvert and geek. My bigger hobbies and passions are things that I pursue by myself and for their own sake. I never really felt any pressure to go out on a Friday or Saturday when I knew I could have a better time alone. My first night in Ilsan notwithstanding, I’m a non drinker, which I’ve always said is the most socially crippling thing you can do short of being a sex offender.

I’m not a social butterfly.

It would appear that I lucked out with my coworkers, since they’re a social bunch, but not complete party animals. I’ve heard some teachers at the other schools barely acknowledge one another, while some groups of teachers seem to just turn into binge drinking messes on weekends. I’ve stumbled into a good little group. There’s a wide variety of personalities and everyone’s very easy going so we’re free from all sorts of group tensions and politics.

Plus I’ve managed to get them to watch Firefly and play Citadels, so y’know, based on that alone they can’t be all bad.

It might not look like much, but this has been a difficult post to write. I’ve never been comfortable sitting here babbling about myself and psychoanalyzing my friend acquiring habits while you (presumably a friend of mine) read along. I’m writing me reading you, and you’re reading me writing me reading you; there are layers of obfuscated sincerity and potential ulterior motives. It’s all very complicated and livejournalish, so I’ve decided to channel my background in computer science to make a crude flow chart of sorts that will tell you exactly how I feel about you.

Choose your own friendship!

1 ) Hi! Go to 2.

2 ) If you’re in Korea, go to 3. If you’re in Canada, go to 4. If you’re somewhere else, go to 5.

3 ) You know, you’re pretty cool. Thanks for being pretty awesome so far and making my first month in Korea go smoothly.

4 ) If you’re family, go to 6. If you’re a friend, go to 7. If you’re someone else, go to 8.

5 ) I’m not sure who or where you are, but I hope you’re enjoying this goofy blog.

6 ) Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Leanne! Other relatives that might be reading this, please don’t read this! 😛

7 ) If you’re my former roommate, go to 9. If you’re a girl I used to date, go to 10. If you’re able to tell me Terry Bogard’s brother’s name, go to 11.  If you’re an engineer, go to 12. If you’re currently sitting on a stack of books I gave you, go to 13. If you’re someone else, go to 14.

8 ) I’m not sure who you are, so don’t add me on Facebook, but do link this to your friends.

9 ) Your turn on the email front. Hope you’re doing excellently and having a gay old time. Thought you were a ghoul.

10 ) I miss you and we should talk in a totally not passive aggressive way. I promise I won’t make you feel bad now that I’m a world traveling adventurer and you’re not. I’m the same stupid boy you liked that it didn’t work out with. Email me.

11 ) Great job letting that one recruit go. I know you’ll find more. I hope you’re ready to do some cooking over Christmas.

12 ) Join me for some LoLs sometime soon!

13 ) Read those books, dummy. Also, how are you liking them?

14 ) Hey, I may not have told you this recently, and I may not have singled you out, but I miss you. You should email me or Skype me soon, ‘kay?


Is it bad that when I was making that I considered having 24 different endings? One of them involved being eaten by a Grue.


Before I go, a quick story about new friends. We were sitting around talking about cooking … okay fine, so I was listening to a conversation about cooking because my prowess in the kitchen begins and ends with the microwave. Anyway, a conversation about cooking was happening and people were discussing how easy it is to find certain ingredients for a certain Korean dish back home in the United States (they’re all Americans). Someone mentioned where you can find the Korean ingredients and then said all you need is cabbage.

“Oh, we don’t have cabbage in Canada”, I said very confidently, while hiding my smirk and taking a sip of water.

The five new friends at the table all turned to face me with surprised looks on their faces. I think one of them even cried out “WHAT!?”, unable to process the idea that a whole country might have banned cabbage for political reasons or something. Now, if I was a better actor, or if I had expected that level of reaction from the start I would have further committed to the lie, but it worked so incredibly well that I had no choice but to just giggle at them for a while and then awkwardly let them pick up the conversation where it left off.

That’s the real beauty of new friends right there: the surprises. Thanks guys. To my Canadian friends, don’t worry, you have not been replaced. Eat some cabbage, I’ll see you soon.


From → Uncategorized

  1. James permalink

    Yknow what’s always fun? Convincing them we still live in igloos and eat bear meat… Only the latter is true

    Miss ya too buddy!

  2. annexd permalink

    Look at me, binge catching up on your blog and commenting on all the posts (as our website! with inside jokes!), even the ones that specifically reference me in a flow chart. I’ll see your ‘Thought you were a ghoul’ and raise you a ‘Korea Friend!’, and I promise I’ll email you as soon as this stupid phone stops ringing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: