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Officially a millionaire.

October 11, 2011

Yesterday I got paid for the first time since I’ve been here. I’m now the proud owner of several million Won. I was going to be all reflective on this rather symbolic occasion, but my last post was a bit too reflective for my tastes, so I’m going to do some silly shit here. I figured now that I’m a millionaire, it’s only appropriate to nonlinearly show you pieces of my life as a slumdog during the last month in Korea.

But there will be no bollywood dance number. Fuck that.

– When you enter this glorious nation, just an instant after clearing immigration, the first thing you see is the beckoning face of Pierce Brosnan.

Welcome to Seoul. Relax, white people.

– I’m still not used to seeing soldiers wandering around at the mall and other mundane places. Korean men that are in the military wear their camo gear in public, even when they’re on dates or shopping. I’m used to camouflage being reserved exclusively for douches and school shooters.

– I have been told several times there is a particular Korean dish I must try. Supposedly it tastes fantastic, but literally smells like shit. I’m of the belief that at least one half of that sentence has to be wrong. Smell that? Me too, it smells like a blog post waiting to happen.

– Tekken. Guys, enough with the Tekken. It’s on Korean television almost as much as Starcraft. The Tekken machines outnumber the Street Fighter machines at like a 6 to 1 ratio. My theory is that it promotes fierce aggression in the same way Starcraft can at really high levels of play. Much like the Korean language, the controls are very direct and context sensitive. Yeah that’s right, I just compared a nation’s video game habits to its language. You know what’s really weird though? Some girls play it. I know, I’ll need to get photographic documentation.

– My sense of humor has a limited effect on Koreans. It might be a cultural thing or a language barrier thing. They look at me like they sense something funny was said and then refuse to acknowledge it as such. I’m going to collect a series of “when I absolutely bombed with a joke” stories for your amusement.

– I watched some of a Korean basketball game on TV. The only word that sprung to mind was “adorable”. I know maybe 10% more about basketball than any white nerd should, and I’m confident pro players pretty much don’t miss layups.


I know a bit of Korean, so let me translate. They’re saying Bubble Pop.


I promise you’ll get a more reflective post at the end of my 3 month anniversary here. But next time I tell you another story. It’s a comedy of errors involving me losing impressive amounts of blood. See you soon!



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